Has it been seven years already? I have been a Mom for that long? A friend says it’s a parenting milestone. My husband, an ex La Salle brother, says seven is considered a perfect number in the Bible. Was that meant to make me feel good? I oftentimes wonder how I manage to survive it everyday. A girlfriend with three grown up kids warns ” Wala pa yan. Naguumpisa ka pa lang. Marami ka pang mararanasan.” ( That is nothing. You are still starting as a parent. You will undergo more experiences.)
I reluctantly entered into a world with many parts unknown. Thrown into a decision to become a parent in only a few days, I was giddy,and afraid. Gone were the after office dates with the hubby, the lazy weekends and the uninterrupted sleep at night.And the reality of hiring a yaya (nanny) to help me take care of a one month old baby sank in as deep as the ocean.
On the way to bring Joshua home,I asked myself if I am capable of being a good Mother. He cried continuously that we had to stop in three gasoline stations to check what was wrong with him. Was he hungry? Was he wet? I helplessly rocked him to sleep thinking my life has suddenly been turned upside down.
When I had my bearings back, I armed myself with so many information . Read baby books and parenting magazines. Asked advice from friends. Prayed to my deceased Mom for guidance. Eventually I chucked all the tips and unsolicited advice swirling in my head. I followed my maternal instincts as I tackled ” Mommyhood.”
I committed many mistakes, and learned from it. I understood why being a Mother is forever a life altering experience. You give so much of yourself physically, emotionally and mentally until you are so exhausted. But when you thought there is no more left to give the Guy upstairs throws at you a reservoir of boundless energy. He knows because he too has a Mother.
How have I fared as a Mother? I wish that I have more patience when Joshua is being extra naughty. I wish that I can always cook fantastic meals for him. I wish that I can often hide my disappointment when he brings low quiz grades.
As I was writing this post, he requested for some playtime before I tutor him, then gave me a hug and said ” I love you.” Whenever I hear those precious words it somehow soften the edge of my imperfections. It helps to boost my confidence that perfectly imperfect me can always be a loving Mother.