February is the month of our wedding anniversary. On the 28th, the hubby and I will be celebrating our 16th. I know it is a cliché but allow me to write it here. How time flies!
We met in a Catholic community for single men and women and were friends for three years. We dated for ninety days and got married five months after. I was 38 and he was 41. I was hesitant to get married so quickly. I felt we needed to know each other better and save up for the wedding. He said we will never really get to know each other unless we live under one roof. And, he added, as long as we keep the wedding simple then we would not worry too much about our finances.
We did have a simple yet elegant wedding. Many of our family members and friends were so generous with their time, effort and their financial gifts to make our wedding unforgettable. Even our Boracay honeymoon was paid for by my business partners! We felt truly blessed.
It is said that marriage is the perfect union of two imperfect persons. Amen to that. There were struggles during the early years. I had some difficulty in adjusting to the fact that I am now a “Mrs” no longer a ” Ms.” I was used to earning my own money, making my own decisions and going off to the beach with my friends at a snap of a finger. I was so uncomfortable the first time I had to ask money from my husband for our household expenses. My work involved stage/production work which meant coming home late at night was not unusual. One time he asked, ” What time do you want me to pick you up?” I was so used to driving myself home that for a minute I forgot that I can ask him to fetch me.
I also did not know how to cook. Sure, I can saute some strips of meat and veggies. That was just about it. The hubby was brought up to be an alpha male. He is the eldest in the family, doesn’t cook and refrains from doing household chores. During dinner, you have to serve him his meal hot and ready. His mother was a wonderful cook and she even baked! I was glad she was no longer around when we got married or else she would have disapproved of me. I had to learn how to cook though I admit I will never be a good one. I had to know my way around the wet market, be familiar with the various cuts of meat and learn how to haggle with the vendors.
I think we were meant to be together because we are opposites in a lot of ways. He hoards things. I am merciless in disposing of used or old items in the house. He finds it difficult to wake up early in the morning. I am up and about at the first ring of the alarm clock. I like things on schedule even during weekends while he is more laid back. He is a carnivore and I, on the other hand, loves tofu and veggie salad.
But we both love books. The love of reading came naturally to us when we were both very young. The bookstore was our our place while we were dating. It is no surprise that our attic is now crammed with books. We are also crazy over supermarkets. Whenever I say this, my friends get puzzled and scratch their heads. I dubbed it as our supermarket fix. The hubby and I find it relaxing as we flit from aisle to aisle looking for the best deals or the newest products to try. We find it ridiculous in rushing to buy the groceries.
I was once asked why the hubby and I are still together. God’s grace is the number one answer. He is the crucial third-party in our union. Our marriage is similar to a wild roller coaster ride. Through the years, there were many “lows” like heated arguments and the stress brought about by my fertility treatments. But the scale was balanced by the “highs” of our travels together and bringing up our smart and funny son, Joshua. We have also learned to live with each other’s idiosyncrasy, and to appreciate the core goodness within us.
So what will happen next? We are still on that exhilarating marital ride, hands held tight, ready to continue with our great adventure.